Having a crush is great - when you're 8. At least then it's still cute and more often than not, after two weeks it's kind of over. But when you're grown, and it's someone you see ALL THE DAMN TIME, it's much harder, isn't it?
And it's kind of embarrassing for both of you. They feel embarrassed because you keep staring at them like you want to run into the sunset with them and live happily ever after. And you feel embarrassed because you know they know what you're thinking and everyone else probably does too.
And you know you're obsessed, but they're like love crack and you're completely addicted.
Why are they so cute?! Urgh.
Here's a list of reasons having a crush crushes your heart. While you take a look I need to scribble a few more hearts in my notebook.
It's like you're in high school all over again.
Whether it's at work, gym, or that supermarket you've started going to at the same time every day (even though your cupboards are full to bursting) to see that one person, there's always someone who knows. What is it about infatuation that makes us want to blab things? Eventually more than a few people know and it's a totally, bloody obvious kind of suspicious whenever he or she is in the vicinity.
You see them and you want them to notice you so badly.
But you also want the earth to swallow you whole.
You think acting cool and aloof will make you look cool.
But you still get up an hour early every day to find the perfect outfit and the right shade of lipstick.
Because they have to look at you and you have to look fierce.
And then you remember the internet exists and you can Google them.
And then you find out like dubstep and they have a girlfriend. You're willing to accept the girlfriend.
And then the fantasies start.
You imagine how they'd walk up to you, and say "hey, I really like you. Let's go out sometime." You agree, all cool and calm, while you're screaming on the inside. You know what your first date will be like - you even know the exact number of candles you want in the room. (it's usually somewhere around 300) And you know that after that first date, you'll never look at another person again because this shit is true love and you're gonna grow old together.
And then you start over analysing everything.
Why was he talking to that girl? Does she think that guy is hotter than me? Did they smile at me? Why? Did I have a stupid look on my face? Does he know that his mere presence has rendered me certifiable?
And then you don't see her for a day and suddenly it's like the world has ended.
Cue that Adele playlist. "...someone like yoooooouuuuu..."
But the worst thing?
He/she finds out and it's extra awkward and you swear they somehow know that you've chosen the names of your 3 cats already (or kids, whatevs).
But the really absolute worst thing? The thing that makes you never want to have another crush again?
They're all "I think we should just be friends", but we all know that means "Eww! No! Not YOU!"
And you're shattered. In absolute pieces. You're totally heart broken.
Until you see the cute new waiter/ fellow employee with a bottom you could bounce air off, and suddenly it's not so bad.
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