Abuja – In the movies sex is that beautiful dream sequence that happens between tender kissing and waking up with make-up on. In real life it’s like slapping steaks together in a musty cellar.
So Cosmopolitan decided to shed some light on the ugly truths about real sex.
1. The puddle you cuddle in
When you have sex your lady gets wet and your pathetic premature finale probably adds to the disgusting cocktail you’ll be falling asleep in afterwards.
2. Boob farts
Sometimes when you’re in the missionary position the slapping together of two chests creates a really unattractive squeezed fart sound that’s not as funny as it might sound.
3. You’re thinking too hard
If you think too hard, you won’t get that way. Stop concentrating on making your flagpole rise or you will surely let down a nation with your half-mast member.
Read more at Cosmopolitan.
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