I was running errands and I met a friend of mine so we stopped to greet each other before going about our business. He was with a friend of his, so after catching up as I am about to leave, I am introduced and the friend asks for my number. First impressions do matter and he had not impressed me in anyway and he looked like he had eyeliner on his lower lids. I said I was in a hurry and he can get my number from my friend; who refused promptly. I did not know it was a thing; men cannot get a woman’s number from another man; unless that was a rule my friend made up. Needless to say I gave it, could not give a fake because he flashed me there and then.
That man is not a seducer of women if anything, he falls into the friend zone more times than any regular Joe does. His texts are so bad I never reply because nothing I will ever say will make the conversation make sense. Next time I met him was the most ridiculous conversation ever. I had to put it on brakes. He tells me he wants me, so I asked,’ for what? A relationship? I do not want one.’ He says he does not want one either, so I ask, ‘what do you want then?’ He keeps quiet. I ask,’ Sex?’ I knew I would disarm him with that because he also said no. He just kept saying he wants me, he did not know for what but I just walked away and blocked the number.
As a woman you get to meet some clowns out here and some Kenyan men could run a circus crew all on their own and make a very decent living. You also learn to know how to deter some people especially ones with eyeliner on their eyes. Who will be the woman in that relationship? We cannot take the same amount of time to get ready because you also need make up.
Use your vernacular. There is nothing Nairobi men hate more than to be seen with a mshamba woman. This will only work if you are good with your vernacular. The trick is to have a really strong accent and have a really dumb look while asking where KICC is. He will walk away.
You can try acting like you have not seen him, like I tried or you can say; a) you are married-if no ring you are cohabiting b) in a relationship c)you have a court date tomorrow ( have a serious offence lined up and ask if he will visit at Langata Women’s Prison.
If it is a colleague at work
This is the easiest because you have a host of lines that will always work. You can quote the office policy against co-worker relationships. If you are lucky to be in an organization that is against dating in the office, this one always works.
You can also mention how you do not mix business and pleasure. It is known that most work relationships never works and one person is usually bound to lose. Tell them you do not want to be that person.
Tell them your focus at that moment is about your career and you do not want them to lose out because you will never have time for them.
This can fail if he is drastic in getting another job and coming back because now you look for other ways to deter him.
If it is a friend
Men hate friend zones especially that friendship was formed with an ulterior motive to get close to you. The go to line is usually that you do not want to ruin the friendship because you are bad at relationships and you will ruin both at the end. Or you can just say that you are just interested in being friends and nothing else.
Introduce him to a friend as a set-up date. This way you are letting him know that you are the least interested in him as a boyfriend for you.