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5 Things NOT to do when planning your wedding

24 April 2014, 10:37Tammy February

Abuja - Busy prepping for your big day? Here’s what you should avoid doing at all costs.

1. Leaving your partner out of the picture

One of biggest aspects you need to consider when it comes to arranging a wedding (if you're not hiring an actual planner), is the amount of time, energy and effort it takes.

From working out a budget and choosing a venue, to compiling the guest list and deciding on a specific menu, hashing out the nitty-gritty of making wedding arrangements requires collective and collaborative input.

And we’re not just talking about vendor and extended family assistance here.

Some brides get so caught up in the process that they not only forget that the day isn’t just about them, but they also  end up neglecting their partners completely; something which doesn’t really bode well for a successful partnership in marriage.

One of the best ways you can find out just how well suited you are when it comes to working together, is to plan a big event together.

You don’t have to relinquish the reigns completely (most of the time, most grooms are happy to let the bride to most of the creative organising), but asking for input, advice and dividing some of the tasks amongst you will ensure that your partner feels like he/she’s part of the process and that the stress of preparing for your big day is cut in half.
2. Selecting wedding vendors without asking to see a portfolio

Every bride wants her big day to be absolutely perfect, and one of the best ways to ensure this is to make sure that, if you’re making use of a planner, or any other service provider, you have a portfolio and more than a few references to work with.

In the spirit of capturing every single aspect of the wedding, no bridal couple wants to see décor that’s sloppy, endure catering services that fail to deliver what their exotic menu promises and cringe their way through subpar videography and photography.

When deciding on a vendor, make sure you’ve done your research.

Check to see if they have a website and contact details listed. If they do, browse through sections that offer a glimpse into the kind of service they provide.

Also, go through a few bridal directories to see if they’re listed on more than one directory. The more their names pop up, the more prominent they tend to be.  

3.  Bottling up all of your negative emotions

It’s ok to be stressed out about your wedding.

Know what’s even more ok?

Is NOT feeling excited about planning your wedding (This bride’s confession will make you feel heaps better in case you’re suffering from wedding planning fatigue).  

There’s often a lot of articles that are dedicated to telling brides to either, a) stop stressing about the big day, or b) to stop being a bridezilla.  It’s easier said than done though; especially when the advice comes from people who are NOT planning their wedding.  

And frankly, telling brides and grooms-to-be how they should feel about planning THEIR wedding is a little presumptuous and rude.

Unless they’re really throwing hissy fits for no good reason (like demanding someone drop their plans without a moment’s notice to accommodate an unimportant request), in which case, you can totally tell them to take a chill pill or two.

Remember wedding planning fatigue does not mean you’re not excited about getting married to the person you love, and snappish, dragon-like behaviour is permitted every once in a while; just make sure it doesn’t extend beyond a few days.

4. Playing the comparison game

We hate to tell you this, but someone else’s wedding is always going to be better than yours. But, you know what?

Your wedding will invariably also be better than someone else’s.

Besides, if you’re focusing on making your wedding day, the bridal banquet of the century, then there might be the teeniest, tiniest chance that you’ve lost sight of the actual reason you’re getting married.

5. Focusing all of your energy on your wedding

Remember the life you had before you started making all sorts of arrangements? Well, you still have that.

Make an effort to spend non-wedding time with your partner (date nights where the big W is not on your agenda at all) and your friends.

It’s a good way to clear your headspace and to let your circle of friends know that they aren’t less important than your up and coming big day.

Besides, the last thing you want to do is alienate the people who you’re inviting, right?

- Women24

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