Why is it that single people are the target of every aunt,
uncle or “well-meaning” old tannie at weddings?
I love weddings. I really do. There’s nothing better than
seeing either my friends or one of my family members committing their lives to
the person that makes them the happiest.
I love being able to share in the joy and beauty of the
However, there’s always one thing that inevitably ruins the
fun at weddings for me. And that is the
well-meaning, but unwelcome attention from those people who can’t help but comment
on the fact that I’m single.
But, believe it or not, and I say this on behalf of most
singletons I know, your concern is misplaced.
Yes, it’s nice to have a partner, but we’re certainly not
defined by them (or lack thereof), and judging us on the fact that we don’t
have someone by our side, especially at a wedding, isn’t fair.
To give you a bit of a guide on how to interact with single
people at a wedding, here’s a list of things you shouldn’t say or ask us:
1. So, have you been
Frankly, as far as conversation starters go, we’d much
rather talk about the weather. I suppose I could be nice enough to let it slide
the first time around, but if you do this at every single wedding I see you at
afterwards, consider yourself uninvited to my future wedding.
2. When will you get
When pigs fly? When the moon turns purple? Oh, the snarky
comebacks one could come up with in response to this question.
But, I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’ll get a
boyfriend when I want one.
Trust me, I’ve made the mistake of dating for the sake of
dating and to not be lonely, and I’ve learned that it’s better to be on your
own than to be with someone who feels more like a platonic friend than anything
Also read: 6 things your vagina wishes you knew
3. When are you and
your partner planning to get married? (This one’s for the singles who are
Oh it depends.
If I’m at a funeral can I ask when it’s your turn to die?
(Oh, and for the record, don’t follow those questions up with when will you
have children, when will you have a second child, etc)
No one likes being asked this. No one.
4. The bride is about
to throw her bouquet. You should totally go and join in on the fun.
Not all single people are comfortable with the idea of going
to the middle of the reception hall. If you want to, then by all means do (and
good for you), but don’t try to force me to join in.
I happen to be an introvert and hate feeling as if I’m being
5. Oooh, I know
someone you should totally meet.
Um, no. I didn’t come to the wedding to find someone to
date. And no, I don’t need you to play matchmaker for me. If someone wants to
get to know me, I’d rather that it happen naturally and unexpectedly, instead
of having someone trying to set me up with someone.
I know that it works for people in some cases, and I’m
always thrilled when it does happen, but I’m not up for it, and would
appreciate it if you’d not try to decide how I should meet my potential soul
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