I've finally packed up and left my shared 3-bedroom apartment and it feels like I’ve been sanitized from the death stares, negative energy and boyfriend drama.
I've moved from dealing with housemates that add to my disinterest in human interaction and lack of empathy to dealing with myself.
These are just some of the things that happen when you - well I - live alone:
1. You become disgusting (well sometimes)
Many will not admit to this but you begin to embrace your beastly habits. I once had leftover pizza under my bed so long I'm pretty sure another moldy slice started to grow.
2. You basically become a decor freak
My internet tabs are no longer Buzzfeed or work-related (because who actually works at work?). I've become a Pinterest whore! I'm constantly asking myself, "where would I put this?" as I scroll down endless furniture stores, mood-boards and feeds.
The worst thing about this is that I’ve somehow forgotten that not only do I not have the funds to finance my new abode, but also where the hell will I fit a 22-inch wine wall clock in a studio apartment?
3. There's no one to talk you into/out of anything
Your thoughts haunt you and no amount of background noise can block that. Yes who doesn't love alone time, but it's one thing when your me-time is a choice and when it's forced on you.
Also you have an insane amount of conversations by yourself:
You: "What should I eat tonight?"
You. To yourself. Out loud: "Ohhh we haven't had chicken in a while"
Just last night I had a one-man girls night laughs and all.
4. You start relying on yourself
You are your own everything. EVERYTHING is up to you, there's no element of surprise. You know that overflowing dustbin? There's no slobby housemate to blame it on- you're the slob! And you can't call anyone to make sure you switched the oven off.
EVERYTHING is up to you. Not only are you the breadwinner, but you your own therapist, care-giver AND decision maker.
5. You basically become a certified adult
Whether or not you are a functioning adult is up to you. I for one am struggling to even! For one thing most of my clothes are wrinkled because I'm not ready to buy an iron. I'm not ready to be crossing out the same household items as my mom and gran on my shopping list.
6. And lastly...you are alone.
I grew up in a big family and have constantly been around humans, yes for someone who doesn't like humans most of the time I'm used to sharing my oxygen. I've never been by myself. I don't like eating by myself (cooking for one is like your enemy smiling back at you - literally the worst thing).
I even have to ask a friend to go grocery shopping with me because anything that takes too long I can't do by myself, that includes trips to the bank/SARS/Home affairs basically anything queue related, I should probably speak to a professional about this I know.
So living solo is no yolo moment for me (how lame was that last sentence?).
But the worst thing for me? There's no-one expecting you to come home and there's no-one to wait up for. Once you close that door that's it.