So, I have a very noisy neighbour. Sexually. Sometimes I’m truly not sure whether I should call the police or simply just cover my ears with a pillow for the length of her, let’s call it, episode.
That led me to this: how does one deal with such a situation? If you heard two people shouting and screaming at each other and heard things crashing loudly, then, surely, you’d speak up – be it to the neighbours themselves or the police.
But when it comes to sex, how do we handle the situation? It’s so embarrassing. To go up to their door and be like “I’m sorry to disturb your passion sesh, but I am trying to hear my own thoughts you hypersexed, sexually fluid, exhibitionists!”
There are many complexities when it comes to sexual etiquette.
Here are a few questions we are all still a bit unsure about – along with possible answers:
1. Is it fine to have a guy go down on you but you don’t reciprocate?
Surely, it should be tit or tat? Or do you take turns?
2. Are you obliged to cuddle if it’s a one night stand?
Defs not. Cuddling is about connection, one-night stands are about lust.
3. Is it okay to refuse kissing your partner after they’ve gone down on you?
4. Period sex? When exactly do you tell someone you’re having yours and whether they mind?
Probably once it becomes abundantly clear that sexual escapades are about to happen.
5. Should you ever tell a partner that what they’re doing bottom-line is WRONG!
Sure, but this can be a sensitive matter. Don’t say wrong, rather guide your partner to another - more pleasurable area – and then communicate your approval.
6. Making eye contact during sex (especially on a one night stand), is it necessary?
Absolutely not. This is often very much a relationship thing which might just freak someone one in a one-time deal.
7. At what time exactly do you have the condom talk?
Refer to question and speculative answer 4.
8. Is it always safe to assume you are spending the night when it’s a one-night stand situation?
Yes, unlike the movies, I’d say this is usually implied. Unless the oke or gal you are doing the pantsless dance with starts backtracking after climax has been reached - then, it’s probably time to go.
9. And a question I saw on Buzzfeed “If you have a pet, do you allow them in the room while you and your partner are having sex?”
I’d say no. Pets and sex shouldn’t be intertwined in any context, no matter how innocent.