Abuja - Humans are weird and sometimes we forget ourselves. So here's a list of things you should remember next time you're working out.
Don't flirt with someone in the middle of a routine/class
Yes, you've been eyeing that tall drink of water for weeks, possibly even months now and you really want to go over and talk to him/her. First of all, good for you for working up the courage to go over there. But is it the right time? You don’t want to lay down all your best moves and cause them to pull a hammy. Wait until they’re taking a break, or until the class is over and they’re standing by the water cooler. That way you won’t be saying “Will…you…go…out…with…me?” in-between very unsexy moves.
Wipe down the damn seat
So you’ve just finished off your work out by using the cycle for the last 20 minutes and you really need the shower. You’re so sweaty right now. So you’re about to get up, get your stuff, and head down to the showers, but wait, you forgot something. You didn’t wipe up after yourself. It’s really just common courtesy, but sometimes that massive sweat stain on the seat is not very comforting. Use your sweat towel or a bit of paper towel (most gyms have this handy, if yours doesn’t, enquire about getting some) and just wipe the parts of the equipment that your sweatiness came into contact with.
Don’t give unsolicited advice to random strangers
Unless you’re actually paid by the gym in the capacity of a personal trainer, you shouldn’t be walking around telling people how this awesome technique worked for you. I don’t care. Now let me do my squats in peace.
It’s gym, not a cocktail party – dress accordingly
There’s at least one at every gym, or, in my case, several of those girls who wear truck loads of make up, all their cheap cosmetic jewelry, and the tiniest outfits they could possibly find. No honey, just no. Please go back to the locker room, find your face under all that foundation, put on a reasonably sized t-shirt and do what you came here for. The rattling of your R30 bangles is giving me a headache.
Do not enter my “zone”
I’ve got my headphones on pumping some great tunes, really getting into this routine. I’ve got 10 minutes left before I need to hit the showers and I’m making the most of it. Getting my calorie burn on and loving it. Finally I’m over the hump and I can feel my body responding to the hours on the treadmill, doing crunches, and cycling like I’m about to win the Tour De France. Then this person next to me decides they want to tell me about their kids’ new school play/ new job/ etc. And the moment is gone. The headphones are now around my neck, I’ve slowed down my routine, and my mouth is in such a broad fake smile it actually hurts. Once again – I don’t care. Now let me get my burn on.
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