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Is your boyfriend a ‘man child?’

14 July 2014, 12:34

Abuja - Emotional immaturity. I was unable to put a face to it or acknowledge it as a chronic disorder until experience wielded its hand and gave me a crash course on the subject.

I was recently involved with a guy who appeared to have his act together. He gave me a natural high, which lasted all of two weeks before he quickly turned into a drug of potent toxicity. 

The 30-year-old man I was attracted to was soon replaced by an emotionally underdeveloped boy. The relationship disintegrated soon afterwards as I didn’t have the strength to forge a relationship with a juvenile poser.

Below is a “list” of traits I’ve compiled to help you identify an emotionally underdeveloped man. I chose to overlook these tell-tale signs and found myself being emotionally involved with someone who was incapable of reciprocating my feelings. I hope that you’ll avoid suffering the same fate.

1. Always the Victim

My ex got a kick from playing the victim and he blamed everybody else for his distress. This made him incredibly narcissistic. It was always someone else’s fault. It was his father’s fault he had two kids out of wedlock with two different women (because he abandoned him at a young age).

It was the two women’s fault his relationship with them failed to end amicably. He was incapable of taking any responsibility for his actions. He was hypersensitive to any ill-treatment directed towards him but chose to remain oblivious to his treatment of others.

2. Irrational Behaviour

For him, the most effective way to express himself was by having volatile outbursts before withdrawing from the relationship as a form of punishment. He was defensive and communicating with him rationally, proved to be a frustrating endeavour (although he had no reservations about attacking my character at whim).

Woe unto me if I dared make it seem like he was the one with the problem. He’d cut off all means of communication with me; rejecting my calls, blocking me on Whatsapp and unfollowing me on Twitter. As far as he was concerned, he was entitled to that sort of behaviour.

3. Mr Co-Dependent

He was manipulative, emotionally abusive and had a way of making me feel guilty that he loved me. According to him, I was the problem that needed fixing; the “girl interrupted”, and his only crime was his longing to rescue me from myself.

He wanted me to give him that false sense of purpose. He wanted me to make him feel like he was in control in order for him to delay the process of confronting his own issues.

He wanted my existence to be more miserable in comparison and I refused to give him the satisfaction. I wouldn’t enable his “superman” complex and this threatened the very foundation of his masculinity.

He liked drama, and if there was no cause for drama, he’d create it. I couldn’t wait for him to grow up. He needs to fix what’s wrong with him on his own.

- Women24

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