Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.


Relax, your relationship is not doomed if you don’t compromise

04 June 2015, 14:18Cath Jenkin

The phrase “long term relationship” used to scare me. Hilarious, I know but, in the past, I’d often hit a point in a relationship when it would start to ‘get serious’ and that’s when I’d tap out.

Nowadays though, I’m deep into that exact thing – the ‘long term relationship’.

Nearly six years into it, and I’ve realised that the cliché I used to freak out about, actually doesn’t apply.

Relationships are not all about compromise

“Relationships are all about compromise”, says the cliche. This is what used to freak me out, because compromise often insinuates that one person in the relationship would have to give up an element of their self or their happiness in order to “keep balance” and make the other person happy.

I loathed the idea of compromise. That’s probably because I have a tendency towards being an insular and self-centred individual, especially when I don’t get my way. Perhaps you do too – maybe we all do? I just know I’m done with trying to deny it.

A Refreshing Perspective

So it has always surprised me – albeit pleasantly – how the cliché of compromise has played itself out in this long-term relationship. Simply put, we don’t do compromise. Rather, we take turns at who gets to “go first” or take the seat of priority in a situation.

Here’s how we do it

My significant other and I both lead incredibly busy lives. Both of us juggle an array of professional responsibilities that often interrupt our routines or require us to be supportive of the other one. He might be on stage one night, and I’m presenting a talk the next.

We have what we call a “back up system” whereby our mutual support of each other exists without question. If he needs me, I’m both feet in. The very second I need him - he will be there. If it means moving schedules or turning something down, we’ll do it. Why? Because if it’s our turn to “go first”, then it’s our turn. No questions asked.

A Mutual Ground

One thing we are both immovable on though, is my kid. If there’s a schedule conflict that can’t be worked around, one of us will step in and be the attending parent for an event. If we can both be there, then that’s a bonus. But, no matter what happens, at the very least, one of us will be there to support my kid when she needs it.

I’ve had to rely on this when I have late meetings or evening events, and I have had to learn to lean. Difficult to do when you spent years being so defiantly independent that it took you ages to let him carry some groceries for you. Over time and learning though, I’ve realised I can lean.

When people ask me how our relationship works, or question how what was once deemed impossible (by me, and for me!) has become a daily reality, our answer is simple. We don’t compromise. We merely take our turns.

Follow Cath Jenkin on Twitter

- Women24


Things a woman shouldn't do after 25

27 October 2016, 12:05

Read News24’s Comments Policy

Comment on this story
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Nigeria @ 56: Words to my green f...

A leader’s job is not to dictate, but rather to be respected, admired and be a trustee, of the land we love, with so much potential, a land which should be freer than free. Its still a long way to fufilling our destiny! Read more...

Submitted by
Isaac Asabor263
Recession: An opportunity for Nig...

The recession should be seen as an opportunity for the country’s promotion as long as we all collectively conduct ourselves in a patriotic manner, writes Isaac Asabor.  Read more...

Submitted by
Black and White

We want to imitate the whites in everything because we are ignorant of our inherent originality and content. We spend all our Naira to acquire his inventions because we so oblivious of our natural endowments that we allow him have it for free. Read more...

Submitted by
Nate Nat
Adamawa State University Mubi: A ...

ADSU integrity forum has accused the Sunday Joshua Wugira, a lawyer, of adopting unorthodox tactics by abusing his privilege by attacking the integrity of ADSU Vice Chancellor Dr. Moses Zira Zaruwa, writes a News24 reader. Read more...

Submitted by
Abdulsalam Jubril
My Country Nigeria (Part One)

Poetry by Abdulsalam Jubril.

Submitted by
Abdulsalam Jubril
Recession, dearth in leadership a...

Every leader has the opportunity to become great and making himself immortal in the lives and hearts of people for generations to come. Will Mr. President seize this opportunity?, questions Abdulsalam Jubril. Read more...