Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.


Sex: Give men The PIll already!

01 October 2014, 09:41Chris McEvoy

Abuja - When I first heard that a contraception pill for men would soon be available my first thought was, “About time!”

I was in a monogamous relationship, my girlfriend had had some nasty experiences with the pill  (side effects like nausea, headache and breast tenderness tend to remove the reason why you were taking the pill in the first place) and condoms SUCK.

Yes, I know it's not the politically correct thing to say in this age of STIs and unwanted pregnancy (use them, kids!) but let's BE HONEST: condoms are only acceptable because they're a damn side better than not having sex at all.

So I couldn’t wait for the male contraceptive pill to arrive but, as it turns out, I had to because that was in 1990, and dude-pills are still a pipe dream.

Which is a Bad Thing, because for men who want to take responsibility for birth control in the bedroom, contraception choices are limited, shitty, and look like they were designed to make me cry like a child who asked for an ice cream and got a broccoli sorbet.

Apart from condoms, men’s health sites also list “outercourse”, which might include oral sex, but sounds more like having a sad wank when she happens to be in the same room.

Then there’s the withdrawal method, which sounds a lot like going to Disneyland, standing in a two hour queue for the rollercoaster, then going home as soon as you get to the front. It’s also one of the few methods approved by the Catholic Church, which is proof alone that it doesn’t work.

Unbelievably, some health sites include abstinence on their contraception list.

Seriously, fuck you guys. Abstinence is what we do BETWEEN sex, so you’re just changing the subject. It’s like including “never ever drive” on a list of road safety tips. Or advising men to learn how to kick themselves in the balls for whenever they get horny.

And speaking of ball-pain, there’s always the good old fashioned vasectomy. But like many men, I’m not really turned on by the idea of all that potentially painful cutting and cauterising that will permanently turn me into a barren husk of my former self.

I guess I can always wait a few years for the release of the temporary contraceptive Vasalgel, which they’ll INJECT INTO my BALL-BAG. And when it wears off, they do it again! Fun!

Just give us the damn pill already, you bastards.

But apparently, it’s not that easy.

Australian researcher Dr Sabatino Ventura has been working on the problem for 25 years, and only recently discovered a method for producing a pill that temporarily controls the movement of sperm – without turning the user into a chemical eunuch.

Ventura explains that the guy pill has taken so long to get this far because sperm is hard to control.

Pills for women only have to deal with one egg per month. Men, on the other hand, produce a thousand swimmers a second. Yes, we’re that freaking awesome.

The word is that the research is still in the early stage and we’ll have to wait five to 10 years before we see the pills hit the shelves. But I’m not too optimistic.

The first time I heard that five to 10 years story it was back in 1990, so I can’t help thinking that by the time it’s available, the only guy pill I’ll need will be Viagra.

- Women24

For the latest on national news, politics, sport, entertainment and more follow us on Twitter and like our Facebook page.


Read News24’s Comments Policy

Comment on this story
1 comment
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Nigeria @ 56: Words to my green f...

A leader’s job is not to dictate, but rather to be respected, admired and be a trustee, of the land we love, with so much potential, a land which should be freer than free. Its still a long way to fufilling our destiny! Read more...

Submitted by
Isaac Asabor263
Recession: An opportunity for Nig...

The recession should be seen as an opportunity for the country’s promotion as long as we all collectively conduct ourselves in a patriotic manner, writes Isaac Asabor.  Read more...

Submitted by
Black and White

We want to imitate the whites in everything because we are ignorant of our inherent originality and content. We spend all our Naira to acquire his inventions because we so oblivious of our natural endowments that we allow him have it for free. Read more...

Submitted by
Nate Nat
Adamawa State University Mubi: A ...

ADSU integrity forum has accused the Sunday Joshua Wugira, a lawyer, of adopting unorthodox tactics by abusing his privilege by attacking the integrity of ADSU Vice Chancellor Dr. Moses Zira Zaruwa, writes a News24 reader. Read more...

Submitted by
Abdulsalam Jubril
My Country Nigeria (Part One)

Poetry by Abdulsalam Jubril.

Submitted by
Abdulsalam Jubril
Recession, dearth in leadership a...

Every leader has the opportunity to become great and making himself immortal in the lives and hearts of people for generations to come. Will Mr. President seize this opportunity?, questions Abdulsalam Jubril. Read more...