Lagos - I'm a soul full of flaws, and I try every single day to look at the positives in my life, some days it’s as easy as pie and some days, it’s like an uphill climb.
Intentional and unintentional words hurt us, for me personally I end up burrowing into the dark hole which negativity creates inside me, when all I really want to do is fill that hole with love and positive thoughts.
We've all heard the saying, "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me." But words do hurt; they change the view we have of ourselves; and our perceived value to others, whether the words are screamed at us, uttered sarcastically or stated quietly.
In Nathaniel Hawthorne’s works from his’ deep book The Scarlet Letter; "that's not fair, that's not right, people shouldn’t do that to her (Hester)."
Our mind works like a filter. Information comes in, and the sorting process begins.
So, when bad words, negativity, character assassinations, personality flaws get pointed out it gets stored in the DISEMPOWERING compartment in our mind.
Vice Versa the good things about us, the motivation, the positives also get filtered in the correct compartment in our minds.
We don’t realise that our mind never stops the internal dialogue. We talk to ourselves all the time, even when we don’t even hear it.
STOP – Listen!
Can you hear the dialogue inside your head.
We all have an internal voice.
When we get positive words from ourselves or others this is what helps empower us from negative words. Hence I say we have a filter.
We can control the internal dialogue by allowing what we think should enter our minds. But you might say, even if one can control your own negative thoughts and words, it won’t stop words from other people.
The first step is creating the AWARENESS inside your mind.
We don’t realise when we think of the bad and negative we are actually speaking to ourselves. This is fundamentally how we shape the quality of who we are.
So if you can inspire yourself with positive words and thoughts, this is setting the benchmark of what you are willing to accept from others; which ultimately decides whether you going to be a happy or sad person.
It’s a challenge I know, because I still battle with this, but its not impossible. You can censor what other people say to you and about you, by walking away from their negative words.
When one gets hurt on our finger or our toe, we are quick to try and remedy it. The pain stays for a while, but it heals. Imagine your brain. Why would you want to damage this vital organ with negative information.
There is already so much negativity around us day in and day out, Woooosah, do we really want to walk around with a boulder of negavity weighing our minds down too.
So at the slightest hint of a cynical and sarcastic remark, or an ugly remark, we need to say "no entry beyond this point".
The cliché : "what I don’t know wont hurt!" Lets change it a bit: "what I don’t hear, wont negate me"
Only you have the power to change what you deposit into your mind. Only when you become more aware of what you want to accept into your realm of thoughts; will the shift begin.
No one wants to be stuck in the negativity shell all day, every day. This has an adverse effect on your attitude; on those around you, on yourself, your body, your entire being.
That’s why our Creator has given us willpower and the power to accept and reject. This mind he has blessed us with, is such a powerful tool, why taint it when it can be used to help ourselves and each other.
Taking charge of how we treat ourselves is a challenging but rewarding process. Keep doing the awareness part until you achieve the dialogue you want to listen too in your quietest moments and not the dialogue which causes internal conflict.
When your friends, family, colleagues, even strangers, hand you a cliché, most times its about lemons - sometimes you just need to ignore it and do something nice for yourself.
Me? I think I’ll just walk away from you and go make some lemonade.
Keep an Awareness Jar
One of my favourite authors, Elizabeth Gilbert encourages, positive affirmations, and I have so been wanting to start this.
Today discussing it with a colleague, who just beams with positivity, I decided I WILL! It’s a jar of positive thoughts. You can start anytime, to fill it with happy thoughts or an affirmation daily, weekly, every minute if you like.
Only open the jar at the end of the year. Imagine how amazed you will be when you read things about how you felt or experienced during different times of the year. Just all positive!
I could do with more positivity in my life, no one ever died from being over positive, but I do know many have died from being so depressed with so much negative they didn’t know how to cope with it, and quit on life.
Never allow anyone to ever feel like that.