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Are emotional clutterbugs the reason our lives are so messy?

18 January 2016, 08:48Anonymous

I couldn't agree more that the focus at this time of year seems to be on decluttering and starting anew. Taking a fresh outlook on life and sorting out unnecessary mess and distractions.

Yet I recently wondered, some of us enjoy decluttering the tangible parts of our lives because the hidden clutter is so much more difficult to shift. And it is so much more encroaching.

I'm talking about emotional clutter which we carry around daily. The stuff that clogs our thoughts and weighs us down, even more than a cupboard full of unworn clothes. And what gets me annoyed is that a lot of the time it is given to us by others: an unkind word, a harsh criticism, unwanted advice given with a hidden agenda.

Basically miserable people dumping their issues onto others because it makes them feel better. It is so easy to say, "Oh ignore him or her" or "Take no notice of them" or "It is about them not you", but I for one am exhausted of having emotional clutterbugs dumped on me.

It is easy to avoid a person like this if you only see them occasionally. Try working a few meters from one and unless you have earplugs, tuning out is impossible. It is inescapable having someone barge into your thoughts constantly during the day. Looking down on as much as they can, because they are incapable of being happy for others and then bragging endlessly about the same things, when you didn't gush over the first time around.

We have now been told three times in one week about the same subject. If you don't 'Ooh' and 'Aah' over the restaurant they going to, they will print out the menu and interrupt your work so you can see and enthuse over it.

And I wish I was joking. Almost as much as I wish I could move to another floor.  

I've never met someone who openly tells a person they hope they don't enjoy something, "...because I'll feel so much better". Or runs down to someone's favourite holiday spot and endlessly saying: "I was there and I just SO didn't enjoy it."

When they didn't even stay there at this place and you've never asked for their opinion. Nobody can mention anything they have bought or a place they have been to without being told that this person has bought a brand new home, so basically you can't waste money on 'frivolous' things. Loads of people purchase property, but we don't shout it from the printer at every opportunity.

We know someone who has gone through a massive health scare and those of us at our work (with a heart and shred of empathy) are obviously thinking of this brave lady as she fights this awful disease. Last week, I was told by the office clutterbug that they themself had an awful week.

Turns out they got reprimanded by their boss. In their mind, being moaned at for doing something wrong is in line with facing chemo. I will never understood the link, but nine years of dealing with this individual has taught me not to argue.

Nothing can prepare one for these energy vampires who drain your enthusiasm and dump their emotional rubbish onto you at the same time. They might as well bring a basket of dirty laundry and a bag of garbage with them each day and leave it on your desk.

And I can clean and polish, clear out and simplify but if you have an emotional clutterer in your life five days a week, it is so difficult to feel free and unburdened. No matter how many bags of clothes you giveaway.

- Woman24


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