Abuja - You see the other day I was having a conversation with a love interest and he was telling me about all his escapades to the strip club (those stories men tell you before they find out you are a crazy person and are very comfortable with themselves).
He was telling me how most frequenters are married men and it is not because of what wives think but they just get so out of tune in their marriage; they just go to talk to someone- in the strip club!
He was telling me how he was also not ready for anything serious and of course I chimed in because I had to agree with myself. I am not ready for marriage. I am at that age where everyone is posting pregnancy/ labour/ birth picture on Facebook and wedding photos. But I really am not ready when I actually think about it. Guys, I am really, really young- trust me, I know. Even though the last article I read was saying I am old. My reasons are:
You are broke
There is a certain tale that when as young woman you cannot afford to pay your own bills, you should look into having it split with your better half. First it starts with living arrangement, before you know it, you will be on baby number three. Just like that. Then your husband is in the strip club while you try figure the kids on your own.
Don’t fall for that trap. Struggle alone and financially secure yourself- in my opinion. Getting into long term entanglements for short term fulfillment never ends well. Because you eventually find out you did for all the wrong reasons. Now you are miserable and are trying to figure out how to get out or live with it.
Everyone else is doing it and now you doubt if you are the problem
There is nothing wrong with you, if you are 28 and your 26 year old counterparts are posting on Facebook how they just had a wedding. If you are not ready, you are just not ready. Plain and simple. You can have more reasons but you are just not ready. Don’t rush to date anyone if you are still comfortable with your current situation. Don’t rush to marry someone you have dated for long but they have been a pain for the last year but because it makes sense. Don’t rush to get pregnant because you are trying to be in the right bracket- Janet is pregnant at 50, we are all alright.
Maybe you do not even have the wedding budget or the right man….that is what matters; for you to be comfortable. People will play with your head but if you do not know yourself, they will win.
Believe what your current situation says
If they say they are not serious, like this one here; believe them. Don’t try change someone’s mind, get a mistake moment or stick around to prove anything. They want to have fun, decide if that is what you want as well and act accordingly. Don’t play yourself. Don’t do it with the wrong person, you will regret it. I already know this one is a player and he already stresses me, why would I want him long term? Don’t beg for affection.
Can you really see a future with them?
Realistically and a good one? Not the one you make up from one side. Factor in their side as well; the missed phone calls, the excuses, this one asked me if I had left lipstick at his house- what does that tell you? A man can be a 10 in all the things that women want but if he is not that to you. It is not worth it, trust me! There are many, just like you found him you will find others.
On that note, let me go break up with someone and create a new line up.