A while ago I wrote about dating an older guy, if you missed
the article you can check it out here.
In the article I mention that age hasn’t really been an
issue for us, but that it has been a bit of a challenge adjusting to each
other’s personality types.
You know what they say: Opposites attract.
But what they don’t say is: Opposites attract. And then you
have to learn how to deal with each other’s oppositeness.
Let me summarise my
personality for you:
I love being on time for everything.
It’s not uncommon for me to be embarrassingly early for
events. (This is why I have QuizUp on my phone.)
I really love routine and structure. I hate open-ended
answers like “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.” Or, “Let’s just see
how it goes.” No. Let’s make a plan to make sure that everything runs
seamlessly and no one’s time gets wasted.
I like to get things done. Postponing stuff is always my
So you’ll understand that it’s been an interesting challenge
to date someone who is literally the opposite of everything I just listed.
Hardworking, kind, ambitious… but so Type-B.
He once only showed up at his friend’s wedding mid-ceremony
because he got the dates mixed up, and was mowing the lawn instead of watching
his friend tie the knot.
And whenever he tells me he’ll fetch me at a certain time, I
add 20 minutes to it to ensure that I don’t feel like I am waiting for him.
Also read: Is it time to end your relationship?
I have learned two
things from dating someone Type-B:
A. Don’t try to change them. Both parties should learn to
B. They’ll teach you to sometimes stop your Time Nazi ways
and just live a bit.
So how do you work around a Type-B’s approach to time?
Become a liar
If an event starts at 7, you tell them it starts at 6. So
easy, yet so effective.
Get creative with
I know my boyfriend has a lot on his plate, and he really
never means to miss events/be late for them intentionally. So I’ve started
sending him Google Calendar invites to basically anything he needs to remember.
It works like a charm. If your significant other isn’t tech
savvy, you can opt for good old sticky notes on the fridge.
Learn how to
accommodate each other’s priorities
Type-Bs prioritise things differently to Type-A personality
Example: A fire starts 800m away from your house.
Type A: Omg the fire is just here. We need to get water or
make a plan right now, Its coming!
Type B: The fire is far away, we have plenty of time to make
a plan. It might not even come this way anyway.
I have learned that it puts unnecessary strain on a relationship
to expect the other person to prioritise things the same way as you, and that
it’s possible to find a happy medium between the two approaches.
For instance, when I needed help with a big task I had to do
recently; instead of freaking out and attempting to do it all in one day (which
is what I usually do), I did it over 2 weekends with my boyfriend’s help.
But just as he helped me to take things a bit slower, I push
him to do things he postpones for ages.
Do what you can by
Instead of waiting for your significant other to do
something, do it yourself. (If you can.)
Even though I get bedonnerd when he wastes my time, or when
our plans are wishy-washy. Dating someone so different to me has had a good
impact on my life too. For instance:
I have learned to let
go a bit
I mentioned this in my previous article, but I have become a
bit more zen about things I used to be super anal about. I have learned that
things don’t always have to happen immediately and it’s okay to sometimes
postpone stuff a bit until I have the time/strength/patience to tackle it.
Life has been more
I used to be so set in my ways and now I have someone who
forces me to take different routes.
Mostly I just love
having someone to tell me I’m being silly
The other morning I was having a really irrational freak out
over something insignificant, and then he gave me a hug to help me get over it
and we started laughing about what a weirdo I am sometimes.
So if you’re dating someone who’s your complete opposite, I
hope this article has inspired you to attempt to be more zen about your
differences. And if that doesn’t help, imagine dating someone with the exact same
personality as yours.For
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