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How to make friends without influencing people

05 February 2016, 12:42Lili Radloff

There is a new app called VINA to help women connect with other women. Platonically. It’s basically the friendship version of Tinder. According to Huffington Post, you complete a quiz about your likes, dislikes, lifestyle and interests and then the app suggests other women based on this, mutual friends, and physical proximity.

The tool is supposed to build strong female support systems for women, and I for one am a big believer in that.

As someone who’s been working in a women-only team for seven years, who has a mother, two sisters, a sister-in-law, a host of female cousins and a handful of friends who will crawl over broken glass for me, I understand the value of a support network.

And those are just my female friends…

But whether you need a mother, a mentor, a drill sergeant, a wing woman, a babysitter, a godmother, a drinking buddy, a shoulder to cry on or just someone to help you choose which jeans to buy, having a network of people to turn to means the world.

But how do you make friends as an adult?

Through friends you’ve accumulated over the years, I’d say. But what if you move town? Then probably through work? But what if you work alone or your work isn’t conducive to friendships or you’re a stay-at-home mom?

Do you join a running club? Start taking cooking, pottery or drama lessons? Become your neighbourhood’s dog-walker? I honestly don’t know. Please tell us how you do it.

I guess VINA is trying to solve this exact dilemma. Maybe soon the app will be available in SA and you can choose your friends like you would choose your dates.

Personally? I can’t think of anything worse than cruising for friends in the digital space. Making small talk with a complete stranger on a ‘friendship date’ sounds like my particular idea of hell.

But then, there’s probably someone out there who feels just the same and we’ll get on like a house on fire. I don’t know how you’ll find me, lovely lady, but I’m sure you’re out there.

- Woman24

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