Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.

 

How to really respect your man

28 November 2016, 13:59

After Brutal Fruit’s latest campaign, Laura Shortridge asks, are men really so delicate they need to be protected from successful women?

Women who are in relationships with men: Have you ever been told it’s your responsibility to make your man feel like a man? That no matter how successful or powerful you become, it’s your job to make sure your man never feels intimidated by you, because men need to be the leaders of the household?

A recent Brutal Fruit campaign that’s supposed to be “celebrating and acknowledging the achievements of women” decided to focus instead on lecturing women about how we need to look after the egos of our men. Needless to say, the campaign backfired pretty horribly, but as I watched the awful 11 minute video, I was reminded strongly of my early twenties, when it was decided I was old enough to learn from the ladies of the community (represented here by the Woman’s Bible Club from our local church), how to be a wife.

As these old hens clucked away, sharing recipes and gossip and advice, they also explained to me how things worked. Men have to feel like the heads of the household. They have to feel like men. A good wife remembers she has one extra child, her husband, and that his emotional needs come before even the emotional needs of the actual children. A good wife never criticizes, demands, or complains, but rather gently makes suggestions, using a combination of diplomacy and psychology to deal with her husband, always being careful never to harm the most precious and delicate object in the household: his ego.

Also read: Has 2016 been the worst year ever?

To these women, I realised, men are not adults who can handle criticism or real challenges. They’re children who have to be manipulated and bribed and told constantly how good and wonderful and powerful they are. They would tell these men they’re the heads of the home, and let them make all the decisions, and even if the decision was bad or the wife had more knowledge to deal with the decision, they’d let the men think that the decision they’d made was absolutely perfect.

It was so manipulative. It was so condescending. I realised these women didn’t respect their husbands at all.

Really, if it’s a woman’s job to make a man feel like a man, how fragile is his masculinity in the first place? If we believe women need to constantly pretend to be lesser than we are in order not to intimidate men, how little do we think of men? Do we really view them as so insecure and delicate they can’t handle being challenged or questioned? Do we actually believe men are so incapable of shining, that we have to dim our own lights around them so that they don’t feel so bad?

For the latest on national news, politics, sport, entertainment and more follow us on Twitter and like our Facebook page.

- News24

NEXT ON NEWS24 NIGERIAX
&nbps;

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Isaac Asabor263
Separating kitchen politics from ...

Like everyone else, I believe that the most popular definition of democracy is “government of the people, by the people and for the people”. Read more...

Submitted by
Bethel Tanifo
Ministry of Niger Delta Affairs, ...

Like NDDC Unlike MONDA. This notion is an intuition that does not portend political participation, affiliation, intrusion or aggression but a submission with the intention of completion of the previous administration's noble vision. Read more...

Submitted by
Bethel Tanifo
Nigerian Constitution versus Corr...

The problems of Nigeria is not in its conventional composition, formation, functionality, constitution or treaty, while the solutions are not disintegrations as promulgated by some faiths fanatics and bigotries.  Read more...

Submitted by
Abdulsalam Jubril
Much Ado about Trump’s Presidency

It was unbelievable when the social and mainstream media all over the world began airing the breaking news of Donald Trump’s victory in the most contentious US Presidential elections in recent years. Read more...

Submitted by
Mike Daemon
Nigerian author highlights gay ch...

A new novel by a prolific young Nigerian author features gay characters, which could help increase the visibility of the gay community and possibly lead to greater understanding of LGBT Nigerians. Read more...

Submitted by
Isaac Asabor263
Your Excellency, I will call you ...

Your Excellency, Governor Adams Oshiomhole, as a leader that pays attention to details, I understand that the odd title of this piece would definitely arouse your curiosity.  Read more...