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How to share your husband

30 August 2016, 10:03Shakila Alivitsa

Abuja - I was being given advice by a man. Actually what happened was I had just spent over three hours in stupid Lagos traffic; I get in the office at one and he says let us go for lunch.

I am always poor so I make my financial situation clear. I was just like, I am broke and I had just bought something to eat. He say I will buy, we were all like, okay, let us go! I was the only lady and I do know how to get people to talk about themselves. So these two men, whom both have wives start giving me relationship and marriage advice.

Someone told me that I should get ready to share my husband at one point. Yes, it was said so matter of factly; a man with a wife, meaning that he is doing it already or is planning to.

I can’t even share simple clothes with my own sister and be at peace now imagine me trying to be comfortable with the idea that I should accept at some point, my man will have to be unfaithful.

I told the men the same thing. There is these laxity that has taken root among Kenyan men that even if you are married, you are just married but you can still keep doing what you were doing as a bachelor. The other man was agreeing with him as well, that marriage is one shelf and his personal life excluding his wife is on another shelf.

They were telling me this after the guy told us about one of his girlfriends who is also married whom he keeps seeing when she is in town. So I asked in what way. He says extended friendship. Friends but with more.

To give me further advice he said I should not marry a person I am crazy about. I just marry a friend whom I will not be so possessive about because that is how a healthy marriage should work. So that when such things come up, you are okay with them. He told me it reaches a point in marriage, we all start saying how we are tired, don’t want to do some things and we just become someone else. I asked him so what you are saying is, you are okay with sleeping hungry and with a dirty house as long as you have sex. He said okay but he had a smirk on his face meaning he was just playing his cards for the moment. What happens in real life is something different as well know.

I threw a ball back at them and asked them if what they were saying was they are okay if their wives still had their other boyfriends since they are keeping their girlfriends. Apparently there is no place a man can leave his past relationships, to put it out there in their own words, ‘Where do you want us to take them?’ They all come with him but the woman should cut all ties.

In their own words, this is when men pull out the Bible by the way. When it comes to prayer and drinking, nothing but just talking about concubines and polygamy, they will reference all the kings especially the one that had 300 wives and 700 concubines. They pull out this line, ‘Have you ever heard of bigamy in the Bible? It is punishable by death but polygamy is allowed’. This is when men know the Bible very well. That is what these two idiots were telling me.

At this rate, it just makes you fear marriage if that is what people are actually doing because these is not a fiction I came up with. These are two men who have wives but are openly telling me that they are still sharing themselves around.

Then when they get disease and give you Herpes and say sorry, sorry does not cure Herpes and Aids. 

- MyNews24


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