Abuja - It is like bringing your co-wife/ sister wife ready for your husband - in Nigeria that is.
I have always wondered why in Nigerian movies, the help has her house outside; granted we have servant’s quarters but it is not so common in Nigerian homes. Nigerian homes have the helps sleep within the house such that when the wife dreams she needs a glass of water, she does not have to struggle to get it herself- she will just call the help who is sleeping near the children’s room.
Isn’t her having a house outside even better for the situation I am putting in mind? Maybe, if I am not in the compound but if I am, unless my man wants to sneak into his own compound so that I do not know he is around but with the maid- it makes for an unlikely situation.
Now, most Naija ladies are afraid of the helps especially the young, never been married or pregnant woman. They want the help that comes and goes (does not board) and it is even better when she has her own husband to worry about. But unlike before, no one wants the young, naïve one because she is coming to help you with your marriage duties.
Next to you, she is the next female that is in more contact with your husband than any other woman- if you allow it.
If she is serving him breakfast, then she also serves him when he gets home something like dinner and you are not there to watch. Then you know she serves him with that submissive nature Kenyan men are always talking about while you always serve him with a side eye- you know what he is already thinking. Then in the morning she wakes up and irons his clothes while he stands there waiting having a small chit chat. I am not saying you do laundry and iron but you need to cut that familiarity between them. He better wait for his clothes in the bedroom that is all I am saying. Or she irons them during the day; yours is to pick them and put them away ready.
Then when he gets home she is the one running out to take the groceries or whatever while he asks her about her day. And she replies with her head bent while you always sneer walking off. Or you never even bother getting up; are you even in the house when he gets there?
That is how this things start. You think nothing of them until you get the bombshell and these guys are allowed to be as polygamous as Solomon. He will just add her on his roaster and she starts walking all over you.
You think just because she is not as educated as you are or as posh; she is not a danger. You think he is thinking about your degree or manicure when it comes down to it? Not likely. Be nice to your help but ensure there is no familiarity between her and your husband or you will soon have her as sister wife.