Abuja - After many readers' requests I've decided to do some research into the fine art of giving head to a girl. But seeing that I've only ever been on the receiving end, I thought my advice might be a little, ah, inappropriately personal.
So I rounded up my gorgeous lesbian and bisexual girlfriends for a few drinks and some frank advice. For the sake of the sisterhood, you know?
This is what they taught me…
Hot things up before you start
Okay, I don't actually think this needs saying yet again, but guys, most women need to be – at least a little – hot for you before you dive for her clit.
She might like it if you tell her exactly what you're going to do to her. She might want some time to fantasize while you stroke her body. She might just want to make out a little. She might want to read something sexy first or watch Grey's Anatomy or Twilight or a really filthy porno. She might need a massage, some breast fondling, a bit of sweet talking or some sexy wrestling.
Heck, I don't what your lady wants, but you should. If you don't and she's not talking, try different things and read her reactions closely. As soon as she's feeling a little frisky, you can go South…
Don’t attack. And don’t fall back.
So, you have your face between her legs. Now what? L says you should forget all that nonsense about butterfly kisses on her thighs and around her pubic mound. That type of "expectation creation" works fine for first time encounters, but if you've been with your woman for a while now, you'll only succeed in tickling her. So no beating about the bush people
Of course, all women are different. There's a spot just a few inches up and to the left of my pubic bone… but I digress. Point is, if she's squirming this early, it's probably because you're tickling her.
Easy does it, Tiger. Meet soft and wet (your tongue) with soft and wet (her inner labia and clitoris). Then allow her to set the pace and pressure. I.e. Don't put your mouth on her like it's a cake fest and everyone's invited. Think of your tongue as something that provides constant warm, intelligent attention, listen to the her body's feedback, and allow her to ravish your mouth.
Take your sweet time…
If you're down there, stay there for a while. The beautiful T says she normally spends from 30 minutes to an hour in her girlfriends Delta of Venus, driving said girlfriend to numerous orgasms.
We should all be so lucky.
This "time thing" ties up with the Step 1. In general, women don't reach orgasm as fast as men do. And she won't if she's nervous or under pressure. So if she knows she only has the four minutes you give her every time to "get there" she won't.
Then again, if she knows she can rely on your mouth to be there for a while, she can get lost and allow herself to drown in the throes of ecstasy.
Quick tips and techniques:
· Circles are your friends
· Use a firm, not hard or limp tongue
· Use teeth only if you really thinks she'll be into it.
· Don't suck on the clitoris for more than a second or two at a time and only do this when you know she's ready for it.
· Make eye contact.
· Praise her. Tell her how hot she is, how good she smells and tastes etc.
· Keep your fingers out of the pie. Until the very last…