Abuja - Cheaters expend so much energy and resources trying to hide their infidelity that it would be easier not to cheat.
They will succeed most of the time, but sometimes they will have woven a web so entangled that they can’t find their way out. Here is a number of times they were outwitted or were exposed by circumstances so unlikely they are funny.
1. Pepper and Condoms
One lady found a box of condoms in her husband’s car. She suspected she he was cheating but the evidence was insufficient to nail him.
She made tiny holes in the packets and soaked them in pepper and put them back in the box. A day or two later the guy comes home complaining of a burning penis. Later that day one of her very good friends calls complaining of a burning sensation in her lady parts since she had had sex with a man whose identity she couldn’t reveal.
Well, the wife knew.
2. Wrongful Survival
How about the man whose marriage ended for not being where he should have been. But as these circumstances show, that marriage was doomed to end one way or the other.
The man whose office was in the doomed 9/11 Towers pretended to go to work but instead checked into a hotel with his mpango wa kando and switched off his phone. So involving was their lovemaking that the news breaking all over the world of the terrorist attack at his workplace passed them by. In the meantime his distraught wife was desperately trying to reach him.
When he eventually switched on his phone and his wife was able to get through to him and ask if he was alright, he assured her that he was quite fine and was at that very moment at work in his office, totally unaware that the office in question was under a pile of rubble.
And the hapless couple smoked out by juju.
A Nairobi man had a witch doctor cast a spell on his wife so if she tried to cheat he would know. She did, and not only did the husband know, but the whole world got to see her lover stuck to her in the act of sex.
It took the intervention of a pastor to undo them.
4. Nosy 3rd Parties
These two cheaters were the victims of nosy do gooders.
A man was on the plane bragging loudly to his friends about his recent adulterous exploits, and how slow his wife was to catch on. A lady on the plane was disgusted by his boasts and took his photo and posted the story online. It was shared left and right. I think his wife eventually caught on.
Another cheater was busted by two sisters seated behind her at a game. While snuggling up with her boyfriend, this girl was actually sexting another man whose name she had saved as Nancy. The sisters weren’t amused and passed the cuckold a note telling him what his girl was up to and offering more information.
I don’t know what happened afterwards. But here is to hoping that they broke up, that one of the sisters was actually pretty and that the man fell in love with her and that they lived happily forever after.