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The ridiculous questions people ask me now that I'm engaged

26 January 2016, 11:13Cath Jenkin

The fact that we’re getting married still feels surreal - for me. I’m not entirely used to referring to him as my fiancé and, while many girls may have spent their childhood dreaming up their perfect wedding, I never did. It wasn’t an item I listed on my to do list, but I’m incredibly happy it’s on mine now.

I’m very excited to GET married, but I’m far more excited to BE married. The wedding is a most special day but, for me, doing this life with the man who loves the face off my daughter and I, makes every day incredible.

I didn’t have those childhood wedding daydreams, so I’ve never signed up for the Pinterest boards. I still haven’t, and I don’t think I ever will.

We have a wide circle of wonderful friends and family, and every single person in that circle is over the moon at the news.

What’s astounded me is the difference in the types of questions he and I are asked. Very often, they’re well-meaning enquiries that are rattled off to make gentle conversation while other people (who are more directly involved in our lives) are just extremely excited for us and can’t wait. Here’s where it gets interesting though:

This is the list of questions people have asked my fiancé since we announced that we’d like to be manacled to each other for eternity:

1.    When is it?

Here is the list of questions people have asked me since we announced that we’d like to do life together, and have the government recognise it. Notably, people who are not close to us posed these questions to me:

1.    When is it?

2.    What is your theme?

3.    What colour is your dress?

4.    What flowers have you ordered?

5.    Who's doing your hair?

6.    Who’s doing the photos?

7.    Are you pregnant?

8.    Closely followed by: “Are you sure?”

9.    Are you going to lose all that weight for the wedding?

10.    Is it because you’re getting older? Nobody wants to be a forty-year old bride.

11.    Who’s doing the catering?

12.    Is he adopting your child?

13.    Isn’t it awkward, you know, him not being your kid’s dad? Is that why?

14.    Don’t leave it for too long. He might change his mind. Do you think he’ll change his mind?

15.    Is it because you told him you’d waited long enough? Did you give him an ultimatum?

16.    Is it because you’re scared of the cancer you thought you might have last year?  Are you scared of dying an unmarried woman?

While some of them have been downright insulting (I mean, number 9 floored me, completely), I’ve adopted the “smile and wave” approach. Life is too short to rip the heads off people who ask these questions unthinkingly, but I’d also love to know – I’m not the only one getting married here, why does he only have one question to answer?

- Woman24


Intersex explained

26 October 2016, 08:38

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