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The type of Facebook friends you need to delete right now

24 December 2015, 17:00Saffiya Ismail

Most of us have Facebook for whatever reason.

I have Facebook because with my family, friends, acquaintances etc. spread all over the earth, FB brings us together like a big party. (I wish it was Ibiza but alas it’s just the digital world)

There is fun as you share memories and funny happenings. FB also makes them accessible any time, you don’t have to ring up a huge telephone bill on the “catch up”.

Sure, Facebook is a great tool to update your status: "What's on your mind?" An artful, witty or newsy status update is a pleasure -- a real-time, tiny window into a friend's life. Recall the days of diaries, where their inner most thoughts and feelings were captured.

If someone even glanced in its direction, you would be in defense mode.

Sometimes FB becomes a “dear diary” and it also tends to bring to the forefront the most attention seeking people.

FB also brings about different personality traits of people.

The let-me-tell-you-every-detail-of-my-life type

"I woke up." "I had Cornflakes for breakfast." "I'm bored" "I'm stuck in traffic."

Response to this type: Not every moment of your life needs to be broadcasted. An unsolicited second by second account can become err! Boring! Mundane!  Just because you have 502 Facebook friends doesn't mean we all want to know when you're waiting for your lift club. How awesome?

The Self-Centered type

OK, so we've probably all posted at least once, twice or maybe three times about some achievement. Maybe you are an interesting person and your family and friends, the international/national ones do really want to know about your new job or about the fascinating article you wrote about Facebook Types. But when almost EVERY update is about you, you and more you, it does become a little self-absorbed. When your little inner voice tells you – “you are bragging now” you probably are!

The Friend-DUH type

An Average FB user has 120 friends. If you are a social butterfly, then maybe 300 BUT if you brag about the 1000 plus friends you have, you have a problem, stop “friending” every person. Lady packing your groceries at the supermarket doesn’t need to be your pal on FB. The only time 1000 plus is acceptable, if you are Vin Diesel or “The Rock”, then maybe you might have such a Fan Base. Keep it real!

The Broadcaster

"Kim Kardashian makes another tape” You heard it from my FB Page first! You might want to switch to E-entertainment fellow F-Booker. 500,000 other people saw it as well. Sometimes these types even get caught in spam, in their rush to trumpet the news they never verify …. “Olympus has fallen” could mean many things, maybe not the White House.

The Grammar/Spelling Fiend

We are well aware that things are different in the digital world. I also make mistakes, but care about words please, there is a difference between “accidently” and “accidentally”, “their” and “there”. And sometimes putting an apostrophe in the wrong place is not right.

The Attention Seeker

"I am sad today." "Thinking about last night!”, “I cried last night …..”
Like fisherman, they cast their rods -- baited with vague tales of woe -- in the hopes of landing concerned responses. Genuine bad news is one thing, but really if you want us to bite, maybe try prawn bait and not bread.

The Stealth Mode FB Friend

AKA peeping toms. They never comment, like or post anything on your page. You would not miss them if they unfriended you, but meet them in person or at a function. , these voyeurs will mention something you posted a while ago, or a picture they saw, that when you realise they were hiding in the shadows of your FB Page. Stalkerish! And quite creepy.

The Troll  

They spew sarcasm, insults, unfounded or unwarranted comments.
All I can say: UNFRIEND immediately

The Paparazzi

That one person who is like an ever-ready bunny, takes a pic of you then proceeds to upload it onto your FB page immediately - photos you didn't authorize and haven't even seen? It’s really hard to explain why you were with Channing Tatum and not Ryan Gosling on that night, at that time, when you said you were at home with the flu.

The Chronic Inviter

Play Mafia Wars with me. Play Candy Crush with me. Sign my petition. Like this page. You probably mean well, but stop. Just stop, can't we simply be friends? Why do you keep inviting me to farm beets with you. I don’t like farming!

Now excuse me while I go post the link to this story on my Facebook page.

- Woman24


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