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Things wives don’t do according to men

08 September 2016, 13:22Shakila Alivitsa

Abuja - I was being given advice yesterday. Men like giving me advice, I am still trying to figure out why.

He was talking about a certain couple and how they normally drink together in the house. I said, ‘that is nice.’ Because really, that IS nice, most men once they wife you get this idea that you no longer enjoy doing same things. Also most men do not take time to actually do something with their wives other than with his boys. So this man instead of going out and drinking with his guys, he orders for his drinks from the house and does it with his wife, ‘THAT IS NICE OF HIM.’

Then the man tells me, ‘But I don’t think that is good.’

Me: ‘Why?’

Him: ‘Once you get married, there are just some things you don’t do. It reaches a point you have to stop drinking or reduce and with your wife? No, she is meant to have stopped drinking as soon as she got married and he should go out not do it at home with her. He is encouraging her.’

The list of my unmarriageable qualities is growing because if you even sneeze in my direction the wrong way, I need a shot of whisky to calm down.

I also told the guy, ‘The only time I will stop drinking after marriage is when I am pregnant. The rest of the time I will be enjoying myself and alcohol will probably be involved.’

Him: ‘I am not saying I will tell you to stop I just think as a wife, you have to reduce.’ (When men are trying to pitch themselves relationship wise, they normally sing a different tune; just wait until they get you where they want you)

Wives don’t drink like a fish

I have already failed this exam. If he is not doing it with me, I will probably be somewhere doing it with my girls. I am also looking forward to having a wine collection as well as a drinks section in my living room. This is why I don’t date pious men because I know myself very well. We will just be wasting each other’s time.

Wives don’t get home past 8 on the weekends

What if we are yet to have a kid, and I want to go out? Oh by the way, wives don’t go out. Wives stay at home and wait on the man to come home. I will probably fail this one as well because I like having Sunday cocktails with one of my girls talking about nothing. Second, she invites me for nights out every Friday/ Saturday; my husband is really going to hate her.

Wives stay at home

Once you are married, you need to behave like a married woman. Work, home. Work, home. Then on Friday it is home until Monday. If your man is good enough to take you out, lucky you but wives stay at home and do wife things (laundry, cooking, tending to the maid and kids or whatever). I have already failed this one as well.

Wives don’t have talons

Talons: fancy long nails. All my life I have cooked, clean, washed and swept the compound at my father’s house. I have always known and they know as well, the moment I got a job I would not be doing that anymore as I will hire someone else to do it. I am a very fancy person, so I am getting the nails. See how unmarriageable I am because FAIL again!

Wives don’t talk back and are submissive


I always have to get a word in unless I don’t find the topic too important. Or if I am not talking just know I am not listening to you and I am in my own zone.

I also don’t do well when I am being talked down to. I have a face to go with it. My boss sees it a lot!

- MyNews24


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