Nairobi - I was having a conversation with a man and he was telling me about one of his lady friends and her woes.
This man owns a motor cycle, not a okada; for carrying passengers but like the hobby type. They have a group and it comprises of both men and women. Every weekend, they get together and ride out of town on sight-seeing and the usual escapades.
He was telling me that recently one of his lady friends got dumped after the man found out about her hobby which comprises of a male activity with male participants as companions. While he was narrating the woes, he was not remorseful for his friend because he laughed saying, ‘But I get this guy. You have a girlfriend and you do not ride bikes but she does. Then every weekend, she is with us and never with you. You never get to see her because Monday to Friday is work while weekends, she is away with us. Man, you do not have a girlfriend.’ Then he chuckled.
Then I asked him if his wife had ridden bikes a thing he also enjoys, if he would have been with her. His answer; ‘Eh? Women are meant to be in the house.’
You see how men compartmentalize the women in their life. Clear case of the good time girl, he likes her and encourages her at her sport but he would be the first to cast a stone if it came to her suitability for a relationship and marriage.
Then the wife, who is at home doing wife things (whatever those are).
But Kenyan men, I think you have a problem. If she is independent with her own things going on, it has to be with something you agree with. This would be the so called perfect girlfriend that most men want; not taking up too much of his time and weekends with the boys because she actually does have her own boys. If it is time to be spent together, you would have to make a plan on both sides. You have freedom and space and a girlfriend that does not bother you.
But now since she is doing it with other men and it is a masculine activity that you do not even know, she is unacceptable.
Women, you will never win if you try to make sense of men. I don’t think that they know their own minds have the time because you will find a few of them drooling over a woman on the bike but wait until he is put to the test as to whether he can handle her- she is now not wife material.
Wives should not be on motor bikes having weekend sprees.