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What to do after breakup

27 October 2016, 10:40S Mbinya

Starting a relationship is easy and sweet but terminating one is difficult and bitter. Breaking up is a very painful experience no matter the reasons. Most people go through a lot of frustrations after a breakup, and majority too find it hard to continue with their lives. It is normal to feel like you cannot live without the person you loved, even though they may have committed a grave mistake. Healing a broken heart takes time, but the experience is different for different people. Some find it easy to move on, while others find it hard even with the assistance of a counselor. The following are the steps that can guide you heal a broken heart fast:

1. Know the reason for the breakup
There are different reasons why people decide to end a relationship. If you feel that your relationship is not fulfilling or meeting your expectations, you deserve to move on. Unfortunately, the most unworthy relationships are the hardest to end. Half a bread may feel better than none, but a fruitless relationship is not worthy your effort. You need to get together all the information about the time you shared with your partner in order to heal from a broken heart. Write down the thing you like about your partner and those that you d not like. Weigh the negatives against the positives and then ask yourself whether you deserve such a relationship. How much energy and time did you invest in the relationship? Was your love reciprocated in an equal degree? Is that the way you wish to live for the rest of your life? If you get a valid reason for the breakup, then pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for saving your future from heartache. Chances are high that you will meet a person who will give you the love you deserve, so do not despair.

2. Give yourself time
Transition from one relationship to another can be tricky. When you end one relationship, you need to sit back and watch your past relationship from a third party’s perspective. Check how you related. What did you do wrong? Did your partner complain about any of your habits? Is there something you feel you need to change? Take your time to learn from your past mistakes and those of your partner. Avoid getting into a new relationship immediately. Keep away from your former partner to avoid confusion. Staying close to your ex will only convince you that the relationship is not over, and turn you into a fault finder who will always feel guilty of mistakes you never made. Go out to a quiet place, away from home. Keep your phone off and meditate. You will be surprised how fast you will become relaxed again and move on with life.

3. Love yourself
When you have recovered from the breakup pain of a past relationship, then you are ready for love. However, it is hard to love a person who does not love himself or herself. Most people want to fall in love with people who think positive about themselves and are comfortable with their lives. You need to portray that you are capable of loving another person by first loving yourself. You can only take care of another heart if yours is taken good care of. Self love therefore gives you the confidence to wait for the perfect time and partner. Do not waste your love, invest it in the heart of a deserving partner.

- MyNews24

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