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When your husband proposes this; just know it is a trick

14 September 2016, 10:51Shakila Alivitsa

Abuja - I feel lucky; I am not married but I am ready for my husband and his shenanigans.

I am not sure whether to thank my mother because she is always trying to teach me something or to thank my father because he is shady and always up to something.

But old age is catching up to him, just the other day we had guests; and all of us young ladies, my sisters and I went to the kitchen (as all well behaved African women should do) while the men were talking and my father during small talk says this;

Guests: How is the security?

Father: The security is amazing here all the time. Can you imagine just the other day I was coming home at 2.00am and I was walking and nothing happened to me? Imagine? That is how good the security is.

My mother’s face was priceless while all three of us in the kitchen were dying of laughter. Who just admits of their many escapades to anyone? We all put up a front and pretend that we are Godly people that are in the house by 7pm latest!

That is why I am telling you I am so ready for that husband.

I think we should all go to see my parents this Christmas, we will have a good time. A change from Nairobi.

Lie! If you are a married woman, you should by all means strive to get your husband to take you to Coast or some other place other than his village around holidays. Stay at home even. Ask any lady married to an African man and they will tell you. There is no good time you are going to be having when you accompany your man to see his people. You are going to be fetching water in rivers and blowing on firewood to prepare food for twenty people at any given time. Even if you have water piped to the homestead there is still some hard work you are going to be doing. Don’t do it; trust me!

The traffic was horrible

Make sure your man has his own key to let himself into the house. Prime example of my father who gets into the house at two and it is not something that started the other day by the way. My mother tells us of how my father used to come in even at 3am and he wants you to cook- at 3am. My father does not eat anything put in a hotpot and even if he comes in at 9pm; the help was never meant to cook for him. If it was never my mother, it had to be one of us. If you cooked fufu at 9pm and he came in at 9.01pm; you better be getting ready to cook.

I am not planning to do the same with my husband; you are late, you better have eaten from wherever you are coming from if you do not want anything put in a hotpot. That is it! This is why women are marrying white men; he will order take out or whatever. There are levels to this that men do not understand or get and think it is just about his money. It is his mentality. A white man can even go in the kitchen and cook; African man will have hypertension if you tell him the food is not ready when he comes in.

I will take care of all the bills; just buy the food

Food includes gas.

It is not bad to help your spouse. Most women do not know this, but food is the most expensive commodity in a household and it is recurring. Worst case scenario you get a man that cannot eat Ugali and Sukuma wiki every day of the week but has to eat meat. I used to date a man, if he ate the same meal two days in a row, his system shut down, breakfast was not tea and bread either; now plan that budget and imagine what it came to at the end of every month. My father never lets my mother buy food because if it were left up to her, she is very comfortable with eating fufu and cabbage for the whole year.

My so- and so relative is coming to see us

Coming to see us always turns out to be for one month. Rarely if ever will your husband have a relative that will just come to drink tea and go home. That paper bag represents the life they are about to live out in your house. You cannot have a smirk while they are there either. Be ready! Mothers don’t stay for one week either. When your man says my mother is coming to visit for your proper mental health I suggest you prepare a room for a whole year, that way when you are in year three, you are not tired. When your mother in law comes to visit, look at it as having a nanny you can at least trust- that is all I am saying.

- MyNews24

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