Opting to partake in relationships that are based on instant
gratification rather than long-term stability might be the new love trend?
Earlier this year an article by Krysti Wilkinson on The
Huffington Post, We Are the Generation That Doesn’t Want Relationships, caught
In particular, this bit where she says: “We swipe left in
hopes of finding the right person. We try to special order our soulmate like a
request on Postmates. We read 5 Ways to Know He’s Into You and 7 Ways to Get
Her to Fall For You, in hopes of being able to upcycle a person into a
relationship like a Pinterest project. We invest more time in our Tinder
profiles than our personalities. Yet we don’t want a relationship.”
Being noncommittal and less willing to get emotionally
involved is packaged as ‘a millennial problem’. But truly, it’s the pickle of
our time. Instant gratification is at the order of the day and we are lapping
it up, even when it comes to love.
From “The Girlfriend Experience” to “The Boyfriend
“The Girlfriend Experience” has been a movie and now a TV
show, but this “experience” has been offered to men for years, mostly in major
cities around the world, where women sell an escort service that goes “beyond
the call of duty” so to speak.
Women sell more than sex, escorts are paid to give men the
feeling of companionship, rather than just sexual gratification.
Going out to dinners, shows and even overseas trips; women
simulate the experience of having a girlfriend without all the baggage that
comes with allowing someone into your life so utterly and completely as you do
a significant other.
Also read: Your ultimate 2017 sex kick-starter
But now, women are increasingly enjoying pseudo-boyfriends
with no shame.
In Japan, for example, women are becoming more and more
financially independent and are able to make choices around whether or not they
want a family.
Vice says that some women are rejecting the idea of
marriage, rather opting for career success and with their increased financial
freedom comes new economic possibilities.
A lot of these women are choosing not to have “traditional”
OddityCentral notes amongst the unusual services offered in
Japan – like rent-a-crying-room and rent-a-solo-wedding - boyfriend rental is
now also on the list. And it’s apparently as easy as ordering a pizza.
Next Shark reports that Rose Sheep, a Tokyo based company
offers women sheep boys. Guys that will cuddle with “lonely” women at a
price.Sheep referring to “counting sheep”.
Men range from 20 to 30 in age and are hired by women
(usually in their 30s and 40s notes RocketNews24) for the main purpose of
cuddling, napping together, cooking and general “boyfriend duties”.
Then there are the Tokyo host bars, as explored in the Vice
documentary, Single Japanese Women Are Buying the Boyfriend Experience:
Slutever, where you can go to be entertained by young attractive men. And
instead of them stripping down to tiny leopard printed bum floss, serving you
shots on their naked chests (a possible scene from an American film featuring a
crazed bachelorette?), Kotaku.com notes it’s not about sex.
The inauthenticity of instant gratification
“This isn’t prostitution. You apparently cannot even kiss
your rental boyfriend. Handholding and hugging are okay. This is more about
companionship, and the feeling of excitement you get with someone. That’s the
appeal,” reports Kotaku.com.
But, then, what about the question of inauthenticity? The
interest the men show in you - it’s not real, is it? It’s scripted and
performed for the one footing the bill.
While you’re spending time with another person, and quite
literally investing in them (financially) it offers none of the true investment
and romance and excitement that a real relationship would bring.
Now let’s think again about that HuffPost article that
noted: “We invest more time in our Tinder profiles than our personalities”. For
what? Instant gratification? And is that necessarily such a bad thing? Guess it
depends how you value things.
Maybe that’s exactly what people want? Maybe people don’t
want to have the real thing, but rather the inauthentic?
All the excitement without any of the commitment? Will this
excitement not dull all too quickly, though?
You know what they say... Low risk, low reward.
And at least women opting for “The Boyfriend Experience” are
honest about it. For
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