Choose a year of great sex and sublime self-care. Dorothy
Black shows you how, whether you’re single or coupled.
Forget about BDSM and threesomes. If you want this year to
sizzle with sensuality, make yourself the following promises…
I will be my own best
Have an idea about how the perfect partner will treat you
sexually? Great. Now treat yourself that way. Whether you want slow or edgy
love-making, give yourself this yumminess when you masturbate.
With some imagination, props and privacy you can create any
experience you want. And it’s not just about sex. Does the perfect lover
bad-mouth your body? Nope. Then don’t do this to yourself.
I will take my time
The best gift you can give yourself with sex is time.
Pleasure and orgasm don’t need to be rushed. In fact, trying push yourself to
an expected ‘Big O’ will only reward you with the opposite: frustration or the
Try slow sex when it comes to how you touch yourself and
I will empower myself
A woman’s sexual anatomy is a vast and complex structure,
from the clitoris and the vagina, to the muscles, nerves and neural pathways
that make it all buzz.
There’s a wealth of accessible info online that explains
this pleasure palace – and how to access all its wonders. And if you know how
something works you know how to work it, right?
Also read: 10 things housemates should never do
And share what I know
Once you know what’s going on, educate your lovers and your
squad. Share the love. Knowledge is power(ful orgasms and pleasure.)
I will leave all situations
Detach from people who disrespect you, abuse you, use you,
or treat you like an accessory, substitute or crutch. Respect yourself – your
time, your body, your health, your love – first. Get help if you don’t know how
to do this by yourself.
I will learn to use
No one is telepathic. Your lover doesn’t magically know what
feels good for you or what your emotional needs are. Learn to articulate your
feelings clearly; say what you mean and mean what you say.
It’s uncomfortable at first and takes practice, but it will
stand you good stead in every aspect of your life.
I will practice
You are not a delicate, powerless flower. Use condoms, listen
to your gut, make educated choices about hormonal contraception, get tested and
take action with emergency contraception (the morning after pill) if life or
tequila took you to bad choices the night before.
I will stop trying so
You are enough. If you’re working too hard to keep a
relationship together, that relationship isn’t for you.
If you’re trying too hard to make a good sex life happen
with someone, chances are they’re not the one you should be sexing. Great sex
and healthy relationships require effort, not a war.
I will try one new
Be bold, be brave, say yes to one thing that tickles your
curiosity but you’ve been too shy to try. Here’s to a sexy, self-lovin’ year!