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Your ultimate 2017 sex kick-starter

24 January 2017, 15:30

Choose a year of great sex and sublime self-care. Dorothy Black shows you how, whether you’re single or coupled.

Forget about BDSM and threesomes. If you want this year to sizzle with sensuality, make yourself the following promises…

I will be my own best lover

Have an idea about how the perfect partner will treat you sexually? Great. Now treat yourself that way. Whether you want slow or edgy love-making, give yourself this yumminess when you masturbate.

With some imagination, props and privacy you can create any experience you want. And it’s not just about sex. Does the perfect lover bad-mouth your body? Nope. Then don’t do this to yourself.   

I will take my time

The best gift you can give yourself with sex is time. Pleasure and orgasm don’t need to be rushed. In fact, trying push yourself to an expected ‘Big O’ will only reward you with the opposite: frustration or the big meh.

Try slow sex when it comes to how you touch yourself and practice penetration.

I will empower myself with knowledge

A woman’s sexual anatomy is a vast and complex structure, from the clitoris and the vagina, to the muscles, nerves and neural pathways that make it all buzz.

There’s a wealth of accessible info online that explains this pleasure palace – and how to access all its wonders. And if you know how something works you know how to work it, right?

Also read: 10 things housemates should never do

And share what I know

Once you know what’s going on, educate your lovers and your squad. Share the love. Knowledge is power(ful orgasms and pleasure.)

I will leave all situations

Detach from people who disrespect you, abuse you, use you, or treat you like an accessory, substitute or crutch. Respect yourself – your time, your body, your health, your love – first. Get help if you don’t know how to do this by yourself.

I will learn to use my words

No one is telepathic. Your lover doesn’t magically know what feels good for you or what your emotional needs are. Learn to articulate your feelings clearly; say what you mean and mean what you say.

It’s uncomfortable at first and takes practice, but it will stand you good stead in every aspect of your life.

I will practice responsible sex

You are not a delicate, powerless flower. Use condoms, listen to your gut, make educated choices about hormonal contraception, get tested and take action with emergency contraception (the morning after pill) if life or tequila took you to bad choices the night before.

I will stop trying so hard

You are enough. If you’re working too hard to keep a relationship together, that relationship isn’t for you.

If you’re trying too hard to make a good sex life happen with someone, chances are they’re not the one you should be sexing. Great sex and healthy relationships require effort, not a war.

And lastly…

I will try one new thing

Be bold, be brave, say yes to one thing that tickles your curiosity but you’ve been too shy to try.

Here’s to a sexy, self-lovin’ year!

- News24

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