For the first time in this old 2012 the very essence of my person was jolted to the pith of its foundations. It happened yesterday when I joined Lj, my godson, to celebrate landing his first major acting role in Nollywood at Get Arena.
The story started on Tuesday evening—Lj sent me an invitation to join him at Get Arena the following Wednesday evening to celebrate with the cast. I was very happy for him so I decided to head straight for the venue from a meeting still dressed in suit. I got there about 4: 30 p. m thinking I was late, I never knew I was going to get the shock of my life. He met me at the entrance and we headed straight to the bar where surprisingly there was no one with him. He complained about how Nigerians don't keep to time especially for socials and explained that his crew was yet to arrive except for two who were seated in the bar upstairs. So we had to wait and he suggested we do some shots of vodka which I declined in anticipation of a night-long drinking night.
So we waited and waited. To kill time, we went to Shoprite to get some pastries. We came back to the bar and Lj's friends were surprisingly, yet to arrive. So we started talking about God, Poetry and Hard Drugs for some strange reason unknown to me till now. I raised the discussion about why people do cocaine and we brainstormed on it for a while, by this time, I have been there for like 2 hours. And suddenly, the bar owner asked us to move to the bar upstairs as they were going to do a little renovation.
I was a bit happy thinking that I'd get to meet the two members Lj claimed to be seated already at the bar upstairs. So we moved upstairs. Got there and there were no Lj's friend or friends. I noticed a couple of customers seated together talking. So we continued our discussion.
And suddenly some two guys happened on us from nowhere, one from the right the other from the left covering the two of us such that we could not move or escape if we had wanted to. And the one close to Lj started talking about how Lj has been evading the law, and how he could no longer escape as he has just been caught after diligent investigations of his drug dealing activities.
I immediately went into a state of shock. I muttered something like "what’s all this about?" and this brought the attention of one of the guys to me, who explained to me that they were NDLEA operatives and we were both under arrest for cocaine peddling. I have never heard a worse set of words in my entire life.
I saw that the attention of other customers in the bar were totally focused on us, I tried to think that Lj, “…isn't really a rich guy where does the accusation of drugs spring from?” I suddenly remembered that Lj was yet to deny any of those guys’ accusations and it suddenly dawned on me that Lj could probably just got introduced into the business.
I swiftly considered and reconsidered my options. And realized that it’s best to get arrested and explain myself at the jail or wherever we would be taken to. Then the guys shifted their attention to me.
"Who are you?" one of them barked,
“I’m Diipo Fagbolu, I work with Multishield"
I offered him my ID card as proof, which he took; he looked at it momentarily and shouted
“Mr. Man is this your façade?” Health Maintenance Specialist! That’s what you call yourself to peddle drugs. You will not escape this time, you a financier to this young man, how long have you known him?"
I was dumbfounded didn’t know if this was really happening, perhaps I was in dream. I became confused, scared. I mumbled an incoherent answer on how Lj is a poet and he is my friend and lo, I saw Lj being held at the waist and dragged roughly. I told my interrogator to just arrest us and save us the embarrassment at the bar.
And then one of those guys removed a folded paper from the back pocket of his jeans and asked me to read and behold boldly written was: YOU HAVE JUST BEEN PRANKED ON THE GLO BIG FRIDAY SHOW!
I couldn’t decipher if those were the most relaxing words I have ever seen in my entire lifetime or not …not at that time, not even now that I am in the comfort of my bed.
I looked at Lj, he smiled his award winning smile and I growled “Lj you are getting killed for this!"
It was on the way back that I learnt there was no major Nollywood movie role yet for Lj; I have been cautiously chosen and framed to be PRANKED! Choi!!!
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