All my life I have been put down, beaten and abused. Told that I was going nowhere. Told I was not good enough. Things never did seem right.
The fighting tore me up inside. The lonely nights dragged me further down, And I never felt alive. I was an empty shell, Sometimes I still feel that way, But I am growing up. I am growing stronger.
I hated myself. I hated my life. I wished and begged for death to take me. I no longer wanted to be here. I was called names, I dare not mention. I was hurting deep inside, But that is where I held it. For many years I was afraid to admit.
Fears toiled with me. They kept me from doing the things I loved. They kept me from those that I loved, Even now they still do. I battle every day. Sometimes I win, But more often than not, I lose.
Also read: Here I Sit, a poem
I lose everything. Happiness is unreal. I feel like I am in a fairy tale. I try so hard to believe that it is there, And when I do, it is taken away.
There are so many things I want to do. Travel, Write, Be Published, Be Loved, Accepted But will those things ever happen? Could my dreams come true? Does anyone want to know the truth?
Would anyone buy my book? Am I truly good enough for this man? Ugh! Why can't it be simple? The abuse gets to me. I struggle with it every time... Why did my life have to be so hard? Why am I even here?
Thoughts swarm my head. Constantly there...constantly bugging me. I want to die, but I can't. Things are seemingly going very well. I am starting to feel alive... I am starting to breath... Though Death haunts me... Am I finally happy?
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