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Still updating my new jargons...

20 January 2015, 10:30 Omonigho Kingsley Johnson

So I have to turn to google to check the exact meaning of the word "bae".

Not the least any flustered, but I have been inundated lately with words and expressions I passively thought it was worth the while to skim through for the exact meaning before I unwittingly start using them myself!

I am one of those who loathe to write in slangs, or half-cut words, as I always see it as a perfect escape route to conceal poor knowledge of written English. So in a way, I clearly detest online jargon, shorthand and acronyms, and I try to stay away from them as much as I can.

I know I am not perfect, or even close to perfection. And for this reason I try to read the works of others, and update and develop myself from the masters. I follow so many writers on twitter and face-book, read their works, and study them like I am preparing for some degree exams. I am also a voracious reader, and to boot, I love learning. But I don’t plagiarise, even if that could fetch me tons of million as the number one blogger in Nigeria!

But while developing myself, I normally take exception to those writings that tend to throw you back to elementary school, and make you feel you are in the cocoon of semi-literate people. If it is a claustrophobia, then I accept I don’t want to be there!

Yes, I read a lot of funny English in the social media, especially Facebook. Funny English is even an understatement. To be grotesque, it is a euphemism for bad English. Let’s just call it disaster!

You see, everybody wants to talk, or express themselves, or be heard. But must everybody talk, or be heard? I feel like jumping from the moon when I read those terrible English they write, either trying to set an agenda or contribute to a piece, or express an opinion.

Take a look.

1.      Buar is d rezon y Jntn is spekking hat/ Buhari is the reason why Jonathan is speaking out

2.      Electn is nut a do or dye affer/ Election is not a do or die affair

3.      I dunt c any wey dey can sukseed wit dia plans/ I don’t see any way they can succeed with their plans

4.      Dearis God o! /There is God o!


I am sure Sir Isaac Pitman will envy Nigerians. Anyway, welcome to the new Nigerian lexicon of contemporary English.

Are you still wondering why our youngsters fail English language or other subjects of English instructions, at the secondary school certificate exams en masse? Are you a learner???

Yes, it is convenient to write short-hand. But a short-hand is writing code that is not only standardised but is easy for others to decode. It is a conventional method of rapid writing by means of abbreviations and symbols, used especially for taking dictation. In the case of the above examples, they are not standardised or even conventional. They are just vague expressions for anyone to read and interpret. And they are done with a terrible splash of grammatical freedom, blunder, disrespect and other balderdash.

The generation next sure has a lot in its kettle to digest from. Thanks to rapid technological advancement, there are now lots of learning opportunities at the finger tip, and so many devices to help learning. From wearables to Google glass, it is the internet of things. Convenience, less stress, endless ooze of information, all thrown up at your face like widgets, or dropped at your feet in the comfort of your living room, in breath-taking oomph! That’s how good it gets!

And it goes further than that. Yes, convenience is the key word. And speed, quickness and celerity – everything, in one package, one bouquet. Nowadays you can stay in the comfort of your living room and acquire a university degree, courtesy of on-line education. There is also webinar and virtual classroom. It sure brings learning and knowledge closer to us, almost like surgically opening our brains and cascading everything for the medulla oblongata to assimilate. It doesn’t get any better.

But our youngsters don’t profit from these opportunities and bounties at their disposal, like their counterparts in other climes, so it seems. Either they are laid back and lazy, or the prevailing environment does not support their initiatives. Or both.

Otherwise, why should they be writing this poor and pathetic English, or failing massively and miserably in public exams, with all the learning tools and innovations at their disposal?

It is true that many of our youngsters do not know how to communicate, literally. It is also true that these new language or jargons they write do not represent a consummate and confident people in control of their future. They only suggest the failure of our educational systems to expose the pedagogic side of our kids, or the failure and laziness of our youths to subject themselves to the rigours of mental aptitude and scholarship.

By the way, bae means baby – or Before Anyone Else, and like boo, it is often used by females to effeminately refer to their loved ones.

Be my bae and happi nu yr 9ja! lol.

- MyNews24

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