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What if life is a big joke?

15 August 2015, 10:00 Martin Beck Nworah

This question has continued to disturb me and I am afraid that one day,we will all die and realize that this present life is a dream itself. I visited Ken sometime last week. Ken is my elderly friend from way back in the days,he is now married with two beautiful kids and enjoying the best time of his life. His last born disturbed me that he needed a toy gun and after much hesitation, I decided to buy him one that uses a gun powder-like substance to make the sound of a banger,perfect for a five year old lad. I called Ken and informed him I was coming to his house just few kilometers out of Awka.

When I got to his residence, he was seriously sobbing and exclaiming,"God just take my life...I'm tired of living...why me". Although startled, I asked him about the wife and kids.

"They went to a nearby hotel to swim. My wife is teaching the kids how to swim. But mehn...Beck...this life is just crazy."

"What's the matter Sir? You just bought a new car and everything seems to be moving well for you Sir,why complain?"

"That's the point Martin. That car I bought was seriously smashed and a hug sum of money is needed to repair its parts. Just imagine,a car I've not driven for more than two weeks and you know how expensive it is. Why should life be so cruel at this point I have made so many expenses?"

I just sat down in a comfortable couch directly opposite and looking straight into his eyes,I saw a man who had everything. Why complain because of a mere car? Is this not a big joke? Others find it hard to feed and here's a man wanting to kill himself because of a car. The car was quite expensive though,but I felt it never warranted such attention he is giving to it.

"Hey Martin Nworah abi MBN,I'm telling you about my car and you're just starring at me. Are you okay? Don't you feel my pains? Chai...I just want to die."

"Sorry Sir,you want to die right? No problem."

I got up from the couch,went into the visitor's restroom,unpacked the toy gun I bought for his son and filled it with the powder.

When I returned to the sitting room,I pointed the gun at him with every atom of meanness I could muster. Meanwhile,he was not aware I bought a toy gun for the son so he felt I was holding a real gun.

"Sir,since you want to die,I will make it easier and faster for you. Nobody is home except me and you. I will shot three straight bullets into your heart and make sure you are dead. I will create a scene of self-defense on my own part and handle the rest from there. Got any last wishes?"

For the first time in our friendship, Mr.Ken got up and called my Igbo name in full.

"Somtochukwu,is this a joke or what? I told you I want to die but I didn't say you should kill me. Just drop that gun now before this thing gets serious abeg."

"But Sir you wanted to die and seriously,I have no choice. And I'm been serious!!! I'm tired of your complaints every time. You never appreciate anything you have and that is very bad. I will shot at the count of ten. One...two...threeeeeeee"

Now the man started believing I could pull the trigger for two reasons. One,I didn't say much when I got to the house and this made him to strongly believe I'm having some mental issues. Secondly,he believed I was holding a real gun because of the first reason. It was time to plead.

"Chai Martin Beck...nwoke oma(good man),you know I have a beautiful wife and two lovely kids,who will look after them? Please if you're insane don't start your madness with me. You know I have people I'm sponsoring their studies,if anything happens to me now,what will happen to their future? Martin Beck Nworah...remember I promised to buy you a new Galaxy S6 Edge but if you kill me now,you won't get it again."

As he was saying all these things,I counted up to ten,pulled the triggered and released three shots straight at him...there was utter silence.
















"Its just a toy gun Sir,nothing serious."

When he recovered from his shock and bewilderment,he asked if it was a toy gun and I reaffirmed it was. He sat down and kept mute for several minutes. When he finally spoke, he said.

"What if I actually died in that moment I was calling on death to come?"

I changed the T.V channel to my favorite Cartoon Network and left him alone with his thoughts. He continued murmuring all the "what ifs" that would've happened and that short episode taught me a big lesson about life; what if life was a big joke and that which we hold as important to us amounted to nothing in the grand scheme of things?

What if life was a big joke? What will you do when it's actually a joke? Be careful about the things you do and the people you deal with,always thread with caution.

About the Galaxy s6 Edge he promised,he has continued to deny that he ever made the promise to me. Maybe I will recreate the experience for him.

Till we get to the Promised Land, I shall be waiting for when you will pass me a glass of water and thank God for the gift of grace for the race.

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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